Thursday, June 25, 2009
Time is a perplexing thing. When you are at work, you want it to go fast. When you are on vacation, you want it to go slow. When your alarm goes off, you want time to just go away. When you are going on a cruise in September, you want it to come fast. When you see your kids laying in their bed all stretched out and looking enormous, you want time to stop. Just something I have been thinking about.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
I am reading this book right now. I am almost done; it has taken me awhile just because I haven't had much free time. I have had the book for well over a year and it just sat there. Anyways, my point for telling you all of this is that I really believe things happen for a reason and I really believe that this book has changed my life. If I had read this book a year ago, it wouldn't have impacted me the same way if I had read it today. Not to give much away, but the premise is that our lead character in the book goes through a divorce and is searching for answers about herself and life. To find those answers she eats her way through Italy and then joins an ashram in India and then lastly spends several months in Bali learning from a Hindi medicine man.
I have had moments in my life when I think spirits have been in my presence or I have felt something divine occurring and I hadn't really embraced it. Well, about a month ago I was going to the San Antonio airport for a work trip. My cab was dropping me off and on the sidewalk I saw a couple embrace and the woman just started bawling and I was trying to imagine why? Had they been apart? Were they reconciling? Then all of a sudden a little girl ran up and the man hugged her very deeply. Then the couple and the little girl held each others hands and lowered their heads and prayed and both the man and woman were crying. It was a touching moment and it felt like there was a reason I should be watching it. Like, maybe I should be more grateful for the people in my lives? Or maybe I should stop and pray or meditate more often myself?
Anyways, then I got on the plane and could't really sleep and so I started reading "Eat Pray Love". I was reading the part where she is in the ashram and it finally all hits her what life is about. All of a sudden major chills come over me and I get goose bumps and the sun shines onto me through the small plane window. It is the strangest thing, but I start crying (sorry lady sitting next to me, I am not a a crazy person). It all seemed very out of my control. And these were the words that I were reading in the book:
"And this is what it roared: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW STRONG MY LOVE IS!!!!!!!!
The chattering, negative thoughts in my mind scattered in the wind of this statement, like birds and jackrabbits and antelopes--they hightailed it out of there, terrified. Silence followed. An intense, vibrating, awed silence. The lion in the giant savannah of my heart surveyed his newly guiet kingdom with satisfaction. He licked his great chops once, closed his yellow eyes and went back to sleep.
And then, in that regal silence, finally ---I began to mediate on (and with) God."
Anyways, I have been trying to embrace a life without judgement. It has been hard the past few months, but I can really see a difference in how I feel. I am a much happier person. I have my life and the people in and I will work to care for and nurture those relationships. Things have not been perfect and I am not going to dwell on the negative anymore. It is bad for the body and soul to hang onto those negative thoughts and feelings. Embrace the good in life, the happiness, and the fun times. Life is really good.