An ongoing list of the things I want for my kids

For some reason when I was at Death Cab for Cutie (a really good band if you haven't heard them) last night I couldn't help but feel a tad old and well, slightly wise. The girl in front of me was maybe 16....and she had these huge fake fingernails and she had tons of perfume on and the only thing I kept thinking was....Don't grow up so fast...don't grow up so fast... Which brings me to when Kendall was born...I started writing a list of all the things I wanted for her (and Mason). Up until last night I had completely forgot that I had started this list....so I am going to print it here with the idea in mind that I will regularly contribute to it as I learn new things. I also ask that if any of you that read this and want to put your two cents in...I would TOTALLY dig it....I am all for that idea of "it takes a village to raise a child" concept. So here ya go..... Warning...some of these are girl or boy centric.....some of these might be offensive to others (sorry). 1)When you see something beautiful or extraordinary—stop and take a look at it. 2)I want you to take lots and lots of pictures. All of your life, every event, every beautiful thing. These will be some of your most valued possessions. 3)Make sure you have one really good time that is full of memories for St. Patricks Day, New Years Eve, Spring Break, Halloween, 4th of July, and Cinco De Mayo. 4)If I can make a recommendation to you---it is best to wear good perfume and find a scent that you like that is you—not the same one everyone else is wearing—be yourself. 5)Along with #4—if you can, the things you don’t want to cheap out on are: a)Shoes—never buy plastic—unless they are flip-flops or galoshes b)Belts—leather is better. c)Jewelry—buy one of a kind pieces. 6)Go to Museums, State Parks, to rivers, to streams, to lakes, to mountains, to hills. 7)When you see something beautiful or extraordinary—stop and take a look at it. (oops two sevens...oh well) 7)In your lifetime I want you to do a least one shot of tequila. Good or bad, you will always remember it 8)At some point in your life, I want you to walk into your boss’ office and ask for a raise and a promotion. It will be scary, but it will be the best learning experience. But make sure you have a reason to do it. 9)Don’t ignore the little kids at parties or BBQ. Sometimes they are far more interesting then the adults. 10)Buy lemonade from a lemonade stand every chance you get. 11)If you have a choice, get your car washed a school or charity car wash rather then at a business. 12)I want you to vote in every single election you possibly can. Make sure you read up on the issues. 13)Hold the door for anyone and everyone. 14)Always listen to live music. 15)Recycle as much as you can. Don’t be hasty about it. 15)Please don’t be a ditz. Be smart, be proud to be smart and use your intelligence get you places. 16)Read lots of books. Read lots of magazines. Read the newspaper. 17)Always remember to thank people. 18)Smell babies. And look at their toes and hands. 19)Dance at weddings. 20)It is essential to learn how to play poker. 21)Never miss out on an opportunity to swim in the ocean, a river, a lake (and for fun—try out a cowpond). 22)I want you to have a fantastic relationship with your dad. And your mom. 23)I want you to be able to walk in a room full of people and be sooooo confident. 24)I want you find a career that you wake up excited to do everyday. 25)I want you to be open-minded. Do not make assumptions, do not pass judgment, get both sides of the story. 26) Be respectful, appreciative and interested in other cultures. 27)We, as parents, want to teach you what a “good work ethic” is at a young age. We want you to work for things—save money and respect the fact that hard work does really pay off. 28)We want you pay for your own schooling, or find the means to pay for it (through scholarships, grants, student loans.) We will help you, but we want you to have to work hard.

Learning to Photoshop

One of the things I am working on is learning to use the SLR and learning to use Photoshop and image editing software. Here are a few of my first attempts...nothing fancy...but still cool.

Bye Bye..so long

I having been thinging about things all wrong. Well, let me start at the beginning. I have been thinking about karma...but in an angry way. I have had angry thoughts towards some certain people, all the while thinking oh karma will get them for being so horrible. But really the two best quotes I have found sum it up ""Karma is not just about the troubles, but also about surmounting them." and "Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace."- Siddhartha. So I am breathing in and out....trying to let go of those angry feelings. It is toxic.....bye bye bad energy. Bye bye. Life is good. Be happy. Send those same good vibes and energy to those who need it. Bye Bye In the meantime, if you are so inclined...there is an online karma quiz you can take to see how you are doing. Here were my results.

ProfileKarmaTest.com - Online Karma Test Click Here!

Rebecca, Your Karmic Alignment is: Zen Intuition!

Score: 19 You have a direct perception of truth. You are very keen and don't use it to take advantage. When you commit positive deeds, you don't do them to get ahead, you do positive deeds simply because it makes you feel good. Your intentions are almost always meant well and all this positive karmaic energy is bound to come back to you in a great way!

Bye Bye....we are done.

The Discovery of More Genetic Traits (Part 2)

Further evaluation of my children's genetic heritage has revealed more traits that were passed from Josh and I to our little monkeys. Unfortunately, these two traits that were recently discovered are not ones you want your kids to have.

The first one we call THE COIN SLOT trait. This gene is found on chromosome 7 and goes by the name BUTCRK. Poor Kendall got this trait from the maternal side. We are still searching for a cure.

Then there is poor Mason, he got the genetic trait CLUMZDANSIR, again from his mother's side (his dad doesn't dance..his dad has the MEWHITEBOYNODANZ gene.) And unfortunately, the poor little Masonator was dancing liking a madman and bonked his forehead. I suppose the cure for that will be to listen to his Dad's music, because his mom's music makes him want to dance.

Okay here's the deal

I don't want to die or anything, but being as I have been lax in getting a WILL together...I thought I would put a couple requests out there so that there will be no confusion. (I am having a deja vu moment...did I already do a post about my funeral?--Oh well doesn't hurt to keep ya'all updated.)

LET'S PUT THE FUN BACK IN FUNERAL

1)I don't want a funeral. I want a party. Not a little party---A big huge arse party. With fireworks...if I could plan to die on or near the 4th of July, I would. I just have a thing for fireworks. and summer. and brats. and fireflies. OHHH and lots of sparklers. I like sparklers.

2)I want a band at my funeral that plays good, rockin music(NO Hayseed Dixie JOSH!). And I wants kegs, and margaritas and wine and sticking with the Smith-side tradition--some Irish whiskey.

3)I don't want any crying. Just laughs....YOU HEAR ME....ONLY LAUGHING. In fact, I will not even allow kleenex at this party.

4)I want maybe a theme of some sort....like flipflops and cowboy boots.....No suits or black.

5)I want REALLY REALLY GOOD food served. And a candy and dessert table the size of Alaska.

6)Okay actually, I want an ice cream truck to also come....giving away ice cream and donuts and cinnamon rolls and lots of the cheap crappy candy I love.

Thanks for abiding my wishes. Peace.

A couple of things I am giving up (or at least thinking about it)

Recently I had something happen where one person presented some fairly strong opinions about me and sort of how I parent. Well, I took it kind of personally and for days have been thinking about it. To say it didn't bug me would be a total lie.

So anyways, WE US YOU ME...we go through life and we judge people on so many different things. As a woman and mom, I find it particulary interesting how harsh woman are towards each other. Everything from how much time to how little time you spend with your kids. From breastfeeding to formula feeding to epidurals and drug-free births. Then you have your stay at home moms and your "career" moms and the people that don't want kids. The juxtapositions are so wide and varied.....

BUT WHAT IT ALL COMES DOWN TO IS...why the hell are we all so hard on each other? The reality is...we have our ups and downs...so why do we have to make things even harder by putting others down just because "I do it differently then them." Why do we have to put pressure on others to be "like the rest of us" when in fact....WE ALL DO IT DIFFERENTLY.....

I guess what I am getting at, is that going forward, I myself am I going to work hard to not judge others. I will be the first to admit that I have judged and had judgement cast on me....but the reality is that YOU never know the whole story. So a new goal for 2009 is to accept people for who they are.....

I remember before I had kids, I would be at Target and hear a kid screaming in the toy aisle and think...wow, those parents really should calm their kid down. Or I would see kids with boogers smeared across their face and think, the parents should really take better care of their kids. My kids have cried in Target and I can't tell you how difficult it is to get those boogers wiped up......

SOMETIMES IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE FIGHT.

So anyways, all you women and moms I know.....I think you are doing a fantastic job.

Noonerific

So a sweet little birdy mailed us a slab of creamed butter and sugar, otherwise known as caramel, or in some circles it is referred to non-narcotic crack. This person (Noonie)---felt that she might be able to convince Josh and I to jump off our wheatgrass wagon.... NOSIREEE.....not us...we are sticking to our Tofurkeys and sprouts and other things that those vegan-like people would eat.

This person (Noonie)...also staged sort of a culinary intervention..because she really felt that it was unfair for our kids to live in our sugarless society. And being as we know she is of sound mind and sound advice...we rolled up our sleeves...and bit in. By the way, my dentist, Dr. Osterbauer, he thanks you.

Oh, my train lovin' fool

So as some of you may know...Miss K is OBSESSED with trains, Thomas the Train, Diesels, Engines.....on and on and on. So we reluctantly agreed to throw her a train birthday party....but in the end I like that she is unconventional. So this is a video of the cake I am considering making...am I on crack? It shouldn't be that hard..right?

My little Lauren Lou Lou

So you see that little towheaded girl....yes, the cutie patootie one....well she is getting married. Isn't it devine? I am probably one of the luckiest people on the planet, because I have some of the greatest siblings to ever step the Earth. No...really, I am dead serious. They are kind, generous, beautiful souls. Cheers to Lou Lou and Kyle..... Tam--sorry for the eighties picture...but you have to admit, you look pretty hot there.

Monkey Bread

We eat a lot of monkey bread...which might explain all the "junk in my trunk", if you know what I mean. I thought you might like the recipe. Monkey Bread Prehat oven to 380 1 large can of refrigerated biscuits 1/2 stick of butter 1/2 cup of brown sugar 1/4 cup of white sugar 1-2 tablespoons of cinnamon (depends on how cinnamonny you like it) Cut up the biscuits into quarters or eighths. Then either put them in a ziploc bag or a a bowl a pour the mixture of white sugar and cinnamon over them. Mix well. Place pieces in bundt pan. Then in a small sauce pan, melt the butter and brown sugar until it forms a carmel-like sauce. Pour this over the rolls in the bundt pan. Bake for about 15 minutes...or until they turn a gold brown and appear to be cooked all the way through. You can easily double this recipe for larger group or add nuts to the mix if you like.